My Girlfriend Won’t Cum. What’s Wrong With Her?
When I first started out as a sex therapist thirty years ago, I was taught that difficulty ejaculating was rare, that it was very hard to treat, and that it usually suggested deep-rooted psychological problems. The reality is that difficulty ejaculating is rather common. Feel free to skip ahead if you like. Biologically speaking, an orgasm is simply a reflex. Sensory inputs get processed by the central nervous system. Your orgasm reflex is a bit different, since psychological stimulation figures into it too. But the principle is the same.
It means you know how to cultivate your own arousal.
Big mistake. Hardness in a man, like wetness in a woman, can occur even at fairly low levels of psychological arousal.
Most young men only need about a 20 to get hard. That level of arousal is not always easy to achieve. Reading an article like this is no substitute for an office consultation.
But here are the basics - what I typically recommend for men whom I see in the office:. Remember, genuine arousal is a state of mind.
Sure, if your orgasm threshold is a 30, you could probably still ejaculate under those circumstances. But your orgasm threshold is up around an 80 i.
Never cum inside without asking
Most straight couples put a lot of emphasis on penetrative sex. There are of course lots of other ways to make love besides penis-in-vagina intercourse.
Remember, it only takes an arousal level of 20 or so for most young, healthy men to get hard.
Sure, intercourse can be exciting. Instead, see if you can get to a 60 or more of arousal before penetration.
Having a high orgasm threshold has certain advantages. You can be a perfect gentleman, and make sure your partner lots of orgasms.
But after being a perfect gentlemen, most men with this condition have difficulty ejaculating. To reach orgasm yourself with a partner, you need a different approach - one that maximizes your own arousal. Now is the time to be a bit of a beast. A modern man with a high orgasm threshold should expect the same consideration most modern women get under the same circumstances.
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